Written September 15, 2010  7:47 pm

Anita is resting comfortably this evening following a traumatic night spent in ICU.  During the course of the MRI last night, Anita's oxygen levels dropped suddenly (for a few seconds), which was followed by a substantial increase in her heart rate and blood pressure.  She was rushed to the ICU whereupon she was stabilized.  Her blood pressure subsequently dropped below acceptable levels, she was then administered with an IV Saline Bolus (i.e. quickly administered) whereupon her blood pressure increased to acceptable levels.  An x-ray and CT of her chest/lungs was performed, which did not reveal blood clots (embolisms), a potential source of the low oxygen levels.  An EEG was performed on her brain and showed normal results, i.e. no seizure activity.

Despite the night's events, Anita was quite alert and in decent spirits throughout the day.  She visited briefly with family members and friends and was at up in an armchair, as well as receiving "range of motion" exercises in the afternoon.  Anita will remain in ICU overnight and was resting comfortably as of this evening.

I hear the doctor say, "We will have to keep a close eye on her."  I notice the Indian accent right away.  I also observe that it is dark and John is here.  Something must be very wrong.  I remember from my days of working in Rehab, that it's usually bad news when the Indian doctor is called in the middle of the night.  My next thought is, what happened? The last thing I remember was going into the mouth of the MRI.  How did I get here?

I'm back in ICU.  Stepping up in the world.  Back with my old nurses.  It almost feels like coming home.  Seeing old friends.  Bigger room with bigger windows.  Prime hospital real estate.  But, what the hell?  I am going backwards.  I just want this nightmare to end.  How long do I have to endure this?  I don't understand.  It's so hard for me to wrap my head around.  There's too much time to think, but I can't stay focused long enough to finish a thought.  My thoughts are scattered.  A puzzle that I am trying to put together.  The corners are there, but key pieces are missing.   I wish someone would come in and tell me what is wrong and what we have to do to fix it.  Put it all together.  Find the link.

I'm trying to do my best. Focusing on the positives.  I have wonderful friends and family supporting me.  Caring docs and nurses here providing excellent care.    I imagine wings enveloping me in a protective cocoon. Escaping into sleep. A place where I walk and talk and laugh and feel.  A place where nature surrounds me with abundant colors, smells, textures, sights and sounds.  My old world.  So vivid to me in my slumber.  Now...for just a little while.