Written October 3, 2010  9:19 pm

Anita had a rather quiet day today.  Sunday is a day of rest at the Shepherd Center, i.e. no therapy.  However, Anita did sit up for a large part of the day, while resting in anticipation of more therapy/ventilator weaning this coming week.

Rest.  A coveted commodity here in Rehab World.  A pause.  A respite. Different than sleep. In medical settings sleep is constantly interrupted. I am turned every two hours. Vital signs taken, medications given, feeding tube feedings, trach changing, suctioning, blood taking and the occasional x-ray.  And between all of this, there are dreams.  Some I want to be awakened from so I can escape their dark images.  Others, where I am walking and driving, I want to stay in.  Magically, I am back in my previous life for just a little while.

But Sunday is a day of rest.  There is no rush to get out of bed.  No where to go.  Nothing to do.  It's wonderful to have a leisurely morning.  Until about 11:30 am.  This is when I realize how much of the day stretches before me  with little to distract me.

John is here.  I watch him eat lunch.  We watch TV.  We look out the window.  He reads me the paper.  Idleness leads to dark thoughts.  I can't run away from them, so I decide to sleep to escape them. Sunday afternoon is nap time.

After being hoyer lifted back into bed, I close my eyes and count my blessings.  I am slowly weaning off the ventilator.  I have a power chair and I can drive myself to therapy now.  I finally had my Coke.  John is here.  My mom is at my house "caring" for my teenage sons.  I have a long road to recovery, but I am lifted by love, prayers, and support from friends and family.  Even strangers

I fall asleep while counting my blessings and dream of walking barefoot across fields of grass and pebbled paths.  I'm so grateful to recall this feeling so vividly.  And thankful for the much needed rest.  Now...for just a little while.